THE DISSERTATION

‘Validated’ is the most appropriate word to describe my feelings after reading the first four chapters of Piantanida & Garman (2009). I love how the authors put “THE DISSERTATION” all in caps—that’s how I’ve been seeing it since the beginning of my coursework. I have also encountered some of the people that are described that may hinder your thought process without even realizing it. I have a few friends that never attended college, so it is impossible to explain what this journey entails, and why I call it a journey. It is multifaceted and complex, and a rollercoaster of emotions on a daily (sometimes hourly) basis. I take solace in the fact that the more I learn the less I know, and that there is not one way to define qualitative research—that is only an affirmation of my thoughts and experiences. I am pleasantly surprised by this text, because I wasn’t expecting to identify with the content as soon as I read the first page. I am also glad to see that it is important to notice where you are getting support and opposition, as I have noticed this, but I thought that I should just handle things, regardless. The one thing that resonates with me the most thus far is the woman who got qualitative research books from her peers. “I was certain that the study group had taken up a collection in an attempt to educate such an unsophisticated, unscholarly elementary school teacher as myself. I was so disturbed by the image that I sat on the floor of my bedroom closet and wept” (Recounted in Richards, 2006, p. 25, as in Piantanida and Garman (2009), p. 33). That has been my feeling since last semester. I truly thought that I knew what I was doing, and as a practitioner, I am experienced. As a researcher, I am a novice, and I proceed with trepidation and uncertainty. This is quite unlike me, as I liken myself to the composite character who “dives in” Piantanida and Garman (2009). My identity is shifting and morphing; I don’t know who I am right now. This is new. I’ve always known who I was, how I defined myself, and where I fit in. I am navigating entirely new spaces, and it is not always comfortable.